A couple days ago I posted about asking girls out...how I don't want to insult them by implying that I'm good enough for them. That's certainly a thought that goes through my mind when I'm considering it. The other thing that keeps me from asking anyone out is my fear of rejection. God, I hate it. It's not so much the rejection itself as much as that awkwardness afterward. "Would you like to go out? No? Oh, uhhhh, okay then...." Just the worst.
This leads me to wait until I'm sure I'm going to get a yes, or to not ask at all. There are girls that I could ask out, and I'm not sure they would all say no, but I'm also not sure that any of them would be interested in the least in spending any time with me whatsoever. I currently am on friendly terms with them...I'd hate to ask, them not be interested, and then have to face either the awkward conversations afterward, or worse, no conversations at all.
So how do I determine if they're interested? Ugh, another pitfall. What's worse than getting a no? Getting a no after I misread them. Maybe they were just being friendly or polite. At that point, I'm going to call into question every conversation we've had, and they're going to be more careful about talking to me at all for fear of leading me on. And it's difficult to continue talking to someone when you're constantly worried about what you're saying.
The 'asking out' to me always seems like it's going to go one of two ways: I'm going to get a yes (and then screw it up later), or I'm going to get a no, and that's going to be the end of whatever relationship I did have. I'm just not willing to risk it in most cases. Man, I hate those guys who don't think so damn much...they're getting the girls, while I'm overanalyzing whether to ask in the first place. Oh, to be back in HS when I could just ask her friends if she was interested. Cowardly, yes, but way less awkward.
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