Made a post on FB today about wasting time. Time is the one limited resource we have, and one that we take for granted far too often. But what is a waste of time? I think it would be hard to classify things you enjoy doing as a waste of time, or things that we do in pursuit of a goal. It's difficult to judge those things up front, though. Here's two examples from my life.
I was 'dating' a girl who I knew from the beginning wasn't interested in a relationship. She made it pretty clear that she was interested in me because she thought I was good in bed (and, ahem...I am.) I, on the other hand, wanted a relationship. I pursued this for about six months, off and on. We'd talk on the phone, text, and I'd go visit whenever she asked me. This was clearly a waste of time for me...I wasn't pursuing my goal, and I allowed this relationship to interfere with others that were not only likely to be healthier for me, but could have been working toward the goal I was pursuing. I stubbornly kept at it, though, even when it became obvious it wasn't going anywhere.
On the other hand, as I mentioned yesterday, I went after a girl who I both knew wasn't interested in me, AND had a live-in boyfriend. That should have had red flags all over it...I should never have gone after her. In 99 cases out of 100, that's a waste of time. In this case, however, I thought early on that I had a shot, and I was right. Fifteen years and one beautiful kid. Obviously not a waste of time.
What's the big difference between the two? Results. I was unrealistic about the results in the first case...I ignored the signs completely. In the second case, I was realistic about them, but thought I could achieve what I was looking for. The key for me, I guess, is that I need to be more mindful of the likely results of the situations I put myself in, and when I see that I'm not likely to be pursuing my goals, cut my losses. As far as I know, I only have one chance at this life...it's too short to spend chasing mirages.
No comments:
Post a Comment