'Mental-me' vs. 'Real-me'

Let's see if I can write something that makes a little bit of sense. First, the kitty update: she actually ate something on her own last night! She ate some grilled chicken that I had made myself for dinner. Again, I know that she's still on borrowed time, but every day she eats is another day I get to keep her around. One day at a time.

So, this concept of 'mental-me' versus 'real-me.' I think it's common to everyone, and this probably isn't even an original idea, but it struck me yesterday. If I can fully accept it, maybe I can be a little more forgiving of myself and others.

What I'm thinking is that everyone has this mental image of themselves (mental-me) that is the person we want to be. Mental-me wants to be healthier and happier, and has a plan to get there.

Then there's the person that you actually are (real-me). Real-me has routines, bad habits, and needs that mental-me doesn't.

I think we often talk about things in the future, or things we want to do, from the perspective of 'mental-me.' When I go to the grocery store, 'mental-me' wants to go on a diet, so I buy carrots and salads with the full intention of actually losing some weight. Then, 'real-me' takes over in the moment and eats potato chips for dinner.

'Mental-me' wants to be in a healthy relationship. 'Real-me' will accept being used or being unhappy if it brings needed companionship, or avoids confrontation. I remember talking about getting a divorce a full year before I actually did. 'Mental-me' knew it wasn't a good situation, and wanted to fix it. 'Real-me' was lazy, and valued the immediate needs of having someone around over long-term happiness. Eventually, these two 'me's' came together, but it took a while.

I think we often say or do things based on our best intentions. Some of us have the 'mental' and the 'real' who get along pretty well. Others, it's more of a struggle. I guess what I'm saying is when I say I intend on going to that party, calling you back, losing weight, getting healthy (mentally and physically), 'mental-me' fully intends to do so. As long as 'real-me' doesn't get in the way.

And maybe I'm not being lied to sometimes...maybe someone else is fighting that same struggle. Or, I could be being lied to. I said yesterday that honesty is found not in words or the short term, but rather in the long term. If what I'm told isn't followed up by actions, then it doesn't really matter if it's failed intentions or a lie...it's all the same results. When it comes down to it, results are all that matter. That takes getting the 'mental-me' and 'real-me' on the same page, working towards the same goal...that's who I want to be, and the best people to surround yourself with.