Idiot

Turning yet another puzzle around in my mind...another one of those things that is probably nothing, but once it gets into my head, it's hard to get out. The question I'm asking myself now is about the kind of image I present. Despite how it may seem, I'm really not that bad a guy most of the time...sure, I talk down about myself, and I'm not my favorite person sometimes, but all in all, I don't horrify myself. I don't really think I deserve to be alone...frankly, I think I'm a lot better than some guys out there. Here's what got me thinking about it.

Yesterday, I made a post of FB that I thought would be funny, something about my attraction to women in glasses and sweatpants (see yesterday's post.) One of my friends asked why I was still single, seeing as how I'm fairly easy to please. I responded that although I'm easy, I'm an idiot. Now, that's true...I am. If I wasn't, I wouldn't be alone, would I? I've done some stupid things, no doubt. But I'm trying to learn, and I'm confident I'll do better with my next chance.

Anyway, another friend liked my comment. I responded that I wasn't sure if she liked it because she thought it was funny, thought I was an idiot, or both. Of course, she said 'both'. While I was glad she found it funny, I had to wonder what I've done to make her think I was an idiot. Her comment provoked two responses I received. One, she was flirting with me (ha, fat chance. HIGHLY doubt that.) Two, someone asked when I dated her and why'd we break up. In fact, I've never dated her, haven't even met her. Just from what I've seen on FB, I think she's awesome...but we've never dated. My initial thought was she was being funny, and I'll admit, I did laugh when I read it.

But what if she wasn't? What basis have I given her to think I was an idiot? It could be that she knows someone I've dated, and is getting the information from there. Or, she could be taking my self-deprecation at face value, and assuming that since I am constantly putting myself down, I must indeed BE the idiot I say I am.  Regardless, it got me thinking more about what I say, and how I say it. I'm not usually very careful...I'll put myself down at the drop of a hat, and I say whatever pops in my head. While that isn't usually a bad thing for me, I should probably take the time to step back and evaluate the message I'm sending...people might just believe me.