Another Day

Another day where I'm writing a post even though I don't really feel like it. I'm not sure what's going on with me...I'm not depressed, per se, just kinda playing out the string. Feels like I'm waiting for something to happen. I've had a couple things that felt like the beginning of something, only to fall flat...but that feeling of expectation is still there. Surely, I'll get over it.

I have a bit of OCD. I'm not the compulsive hand-washing, check the stove 50 times kind. Mine is much more subtle. For example, I can't start watching a movie from the middle...it's from the beginning, or forget it. I also can't watch or read stuff out of order. You start at #1 and move forward, or you don't start. I'm also a completist. Once I start at #1, I want to go all the way through to the end. This makes it hard for me to get into scripted TV shows...I want to start at the Pilot, and go through to the end of the series. I LOVE the fact that so many are released on DVD now...it's made my life so much easier.

I'm currently watching The Twilight Zone. Just as an aside, Rod Serling was the MAN. Watch an old interview with him, like the one he did with Mike Wallace before the premier of the show...he took no shit from anyone, and he did EXACTLY what he wanted. I admire that. Anyway, I started at the pilot, and have been working my way forward. Most of the episodes are very good, but not all of them are fantastic.

One of the early ones I loved, though, is called "A World of Difference." In it, a man finds that what he thought was his life was a really a movie shoot. He thought he had a good job, a loving wife, a beautiful daughter, a perfect life. In reality, everyone thought he was an asshole, his wife was divorcing him, and his life was falling apart. Think something along the lines of "The Matrix" or "The Truman Show"...the realization that what you thought was your life isn't real...real life is so much worse than what you had been lead to believe. There's always a struggle between accepting reality, or continuing the fantasy.

This reminds me of my thoughts after seeing "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind." Besides loving Kate Winslet, I thought this was a fascinating movie. Given the ability to erase your bad memories, would you? Most people would surely so no, that the bad things helped make them who they are. That's certainly a great way to look at it, once you're in a good place. But what if you're not in a good place? What if you thought that, by erasing some of these 'bad' memories, you could finally GET to a good place? Would you consider it then?

These are some of the things that fascinate me. I love 'escaping' to other worlds, through movies, books, video games, etc. The idea of being able to escape to another world, either through my imagination or by 'creating' a world by taking the bad things out of my life, certainly seem like it would be tempting at times. Thankfully (?), it's not a decision to be made...the best you can do is live the life you're given, which is good enough, even with some 'bad' memories here and there.