It's been a pretty rough week. My truck window broke, we've had computer problems at work, the people there have been extra annoying, I had to do some things I considered less than ethical, the weather's been shitty, I've been in a traffic jam almost every night this week, and I've been depressed on top of it all. One of those weeks that I have to watch out for, to avoid falling into a hole that I'll have a tough time climbing out of.
I recognize my triggers. Sometimes, that's not enough, but I do usually see them coming. It's not usually a big thing...my life, despite how it may seem, isn't all that dramatic. No, it's usually a week like this...a bunch of little things. I feel like I'm actually pretty decent at taking the big punch and moving on, but those continuous little punches will eventually knock me down. And even when I see them coming, I can't always take a step back and collect myself before falling.
I'm getting better, though. I've realized over the last year how much I leaned on my ex, and how I eventually wore her down. I didn't understand it at the time, but I do now. It's tougher doing standing on my own, no doubt. But I'm learning. Tonight, I picked up the boy. He wasn't ready...and I have a problem with patience. I relaxed...why the big hurry? He showed me some custom Lego people he made, and we talked about it on the way home. Once we got home, I went to change clothes...while I was doing that, he finished his homework and practiced his Taekwando, without me getting on him to do it. I cooked (relax, it was nothing special or fancy), and it was nice just to stay busy in the kitchen. Now, I have to take him home, and face Friday. But I know he's waiting for me at the end of the day, and we've already got tomorrow evening and Saturday planned out. Should be a fun weekend.
I can't always cut off the downward spiral at the pass. This time I did, though...everything's going to be just fine.
No comments:
Post a Comment